


Miss Kitty's Kitty

by MissLiz



Category: Gunsmoke
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-06
Updated: 2014-11-07
Packaged: 2018-02-24 08:57:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2575655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissLiz/pseuds/MissLiz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With all the miscreants back in jail or in the ground, Matt wanted nothing more than to down a couple of beers at the Long Branch while gazing at the lovely face of Miss Kitty Russell. What happened when he got there was a little more than he expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue--Mama Cat

**Author's Note:**

> This was my very first fanfic, originally published on another site, and with the exception of correcting a few typos or other errors, it's being posted as is.
> 
> I don't own these characters, they're just old childhood friends of mine.

Matt Dillon approached Dodge City at the end of a difficult two weeks in Hays. What was meant to be a one-day trial testimony was extended when most of the Baker gang broke out of prison. Thankfully, they didn’t get far, but they scattered and capturing them all took longer than it should have. Now, with all the miscreants back in jail or in the ground, Matt wanted nothing more than to down a couple of beers at the Long Branch while gazing at the lovely face of Miss Kitty Russell. Well, maybe a little more than that…

Matt let Buck walk down the dusty street as he looked in the direction of the Long Branch tiredly, but with anticipation. It was Saturday afternoon, and it seemed like everyone in the county was there picking up supplies, attending to business like having their horses shod, or just socializing with seldom-seen friends. As he approached the jail he was almost instantly surrounded by half a dozen boys between the ages of seven and twelve clamoring for the privilege of returning his horse to the stable for him. Matt turned to a red-haired boy with freckles who had proven to be reliable at this chore in the past. “Hey, Petey, can you make sure he gets taken care of for me?” he said, handing Petey Buck’s reins along with a couple of coins.

“Sure thing! Thanks, Marshal!” The boy headed for the livery stable, amid good-natured grumbles from the other boys. “No fair! It was my turn!” “You lucky dog!” “You just wait until next time!” Matt chuckled at the eagerness and disappointment of the boys as he crossed the street with long strides to the Long Branch.

He stood in the doorway of the saloon, disappointed that Kitty was nowhere to be seen. In fact, the place was oddly nearly empty, considering how busy the town was. Sam was behind the bar and Festus sat at the nearest table with a full mug of beer. “Well, Matthew! It’s about time you got back! I thought I was gonna hafta drink this here beer all by my lonesome with no one but Sam fer company! No offense, Sam,” he added as soon as he realized what he’d just said. Sam just shook his head. He was already drawing a beer for Matt.

“Welcome back, Marshal,” Sam said as he handed the beer over the counter to Matt.

“Much obliged, Sam,” Matt replied as he accepted the mug. “Where’s Kitty? Did she get my telegram that I was getting back today?” 

Festus answered as Matt sat across the table from him. “She shore did Matthew! She’s up in her room right now getting herself all prettied up!” Festus scratched his head, wondering whether he’d just said that Kitty hadn’t already been pretty. As if on cue, a door opened upstairs and Kitty descended, wearing a dress in a beautiful shade of purple with black lace trim, that he’d never seen before. The men instantly rose to their feet as Kitty happily rushed toward them, her eyes on only one of the men.

“Matt!” She took both his hands in hers. “Welcome home!” Their eyes met and both pairs of hands trembled. Kitty was even more beautiful than she had been the last time he’d seen her, if such a thing were possible. 

“Kitty,” Matt said somewhat hoarsely, gently disentangling one of his hands as he finally remembered to remove his hat. “Is that a new dress? It sure is pretty.”

“Thank you, Matt, I had it made especially for you,” she said, and gave him one of her especially-for-him smiles that made a trip out of town worthwhile just to come home to see. “Sit down and tell us about your trip.” 

As they all sat down, it occurred to Matt that lately Kitty had on a new dress every single time he returned from being out of town. Not that he was complaining--it was her money, and if a new dress made her happy it made him happy. Though if there was ever a fabric shortage, like there was during the war, then there might be a problem. 

“Beer, Miss Kitty?” Sam called after they were all seated. 

“No thanks, Sam. Maybe later.”

“Oh, just the usual things.” Matt really wasn’t interested in talking about his trip. “Clark Braley got convicted of murder and then the Baker boys broke out and we had to go round them up. How have things been around here?” he asked, as he reached for his beer.

“Well, Matt,” Kitty said slowly, lowering her eyes. “I’m a mother.”


	2. Pumpkin Pie

Matt’s beer stopped in midair and then dropped with a thud, nearly sloshing out onto the table. What the---? He knew he hadn’t been gone that long! He cleared his throat several times. When he finally trusted his voice he managed to choke out, “Kitty? Did you forget to tell me something?”  
He looked at Kitty and saw that her eyes were twinkling with amusement, even though the rest of her face looked completely serious. He glanced at Festus and Sam, who were avoiding looking at each other or at him. All right. Clearly this was some sort of prank, although not a very funny one as far as he was concerned, and all three of them were in on it.  
Kitty stood up, as did Matt and Festus. “Come on back to the storeroom, Matt,” Kitty said, unable to keep the laughter out of her voice. “I’ve got something to show you.”

Matt followed Kitty to the back of the saloon, wondering what in the world she was up to, and not completely convinced that he wasn’t about to be, or hadn’t just become, a father. Near the back door was an empty crate with a bit of blanket sticking out over the top. As Kitty led him to the crate, he noticed that it was squeaking. Or, rather, that squeaking noises were coming from it. Nervously, Matt stood next to the crate and peered in, feeling an enormous sense of relief at what he saw. Followed by an enormous sense of guilt for feeling that way, and possibly just a tiny amount of disappointment. Proudly curled up in the middle of the crate was a calico cat nursing four extremely new kittens. 

“What do you think, Matt?” Kitty asked excitedly. “They were just born last night. I came in here while we were closing and there they were.”

“Well, Kitty, they look just like you,” Matt said, with as much seriousness as he could manage under the circumstances. Kitty laughed as hard as she thought she could without scaring the mother cat and Matt watched her, enjoying her laughter at his expense. However, she was not going to get off that easy; it was time for a little payback. He leaned in a little closer and the mother cat hissed at him, a not entirely unexpected reaction, and one that he was sure his own cat would have in a similar situation. He straightened back up and faced Kitty. “What are they--rats?”

“Matt! Do you expect me to believe you’ve never seen baby kittens before?” Kitty gasped as she tried to control her laughter. 

“Well, I guess I never really paid that much attention before. I don’t really like cats.”

“You don’t--what?” Kitty sputtered, ready to start getting mad if the situation called for it. “You. Don’t. Like. Cats.” She pronounced each word separately, leaning back against the open doorway and crossing her arms at her waist. “Matt Dillon, I think you should think real hard about who you just said that to.” Matt stepped forward and put his hands on her shoulders, realizing that his part of the joke had gone far enough. 

“Present company excluded, of course, Miss Kitty,” he murmured into her ear, hoping he wasn’t going to be sleeping alone on his first night back. Kitty refused to look at him for a few moments, finally relenting and reaching up to put her arms around his neck for their long-awaited welcome-back kiss. “Nice to see you again, Cowboy,” she whispered against his cheek, the kittens forgotten for the moment.

 

***

Three Weeks Later

“Miss Kitty’s back in the storeroom, Marshal,” Sam said sadly, when Matt walked into the Long Branch after another trip out of town. Matt doubled his pace in order to get to Kitty and find out what was wrong. He was greeted by the sight of Kitty sitting cross-legged on the floor, with a towel across her lap, cradling the four small kittens. A bowl of milk sat on the floor next to her. Kitty looked up at him, and the sight of her tear stained face broke his heart. Then her voice tore it in two.

“The mama cat’s gone, Matt. I haven’t seen her since yesterday morning. Festus went out to look for her, but--” She couldn’t continue. Matt knelt down and tried to take her in his arms, but Kitty had no time to be comforted. “I need to feed them, Matt, or they aren’t going to live--” Kitty dipped her fingers in the bowl of milk and resumed her efforts to get the kittens to take the milk from her, to little avail. 

Festus walked in the back door and Matt looked up at him expectantly. Festus shook his head and took off his hat. Matt looked down at Kitty, then back up at Festus and shook his head also. The two men silently agreed that Kitty did not need to be burdened with the fate of the mama cat right then. 

Kitty began to sob. “Oh, please, babies, eat!” She looked up at Festus helplessly. “I don’t think they’re going to make it.”

Festus knelt down in front of Kitty. “Miss Kitty, why dontcha let me take a look at them? I’ve doctored lots of critters in my day and yore plumb tuckered out.” Kitty nodded and let Festus scoop the kittens up from her lap. “You just let me take care of these little ones and let ole Matthew take care of you.” Matt shot Festus a look at this and Festus gave him a piercing look in return. “Newly can do rounds,” he said forcefully. Matt nodded.

Kitty cried silently against Matt’s shoulder and refused to go to her room, or to allow Matt to leave to go find Newly, while Festus patiently continued to try to get the kittens to eat. Matt guessed Newly would figure it out on his own, or come looking for them, when he noticed that no one was doing rounds.

Finally, Festus turned back to Matt and Kitty, holding one of the kittens in his hand. “Miss Kitty, this one seems to have perked up a mite. He’s finally takin’ to the milk and he even tried to take a bite out of me. ‘Course it didn’t hurt none…”

Kitty sat up and reached out to gently stroke the tiny orange and white ball of fur Festus held. The kitten looked up at her, opened its mouth and let out a tiny “mew.” Then it closed its eyes and Kitty felt it vibrating under her hand. Kitty managed a tiny smile. “It’s purring! Festus...what about--”

Festus shook his head. “I’m sorry Miss Kitty, the other three are gone. They was just too weak to try to eat anything.” Kitty bowed her head and reached for Matt’s hand, while continuing to stroke the orange and white kitten behind its ears.

***

The Next Day

Kitty had slept fitfully the night before, which Matt considered an improvement over the way she would have slept if all four of the kittens had passed. Instead of her usual slow wake-up routine, Kitty had thrown on her robe and run downstairs as soon it was daylight to check up on the kitten Festus had promised to take care of all night. 

“Oh, he’s a spunky one!” Festus exclaimed as he, Kitty and Matt watched him totter around on the storeroom floor. The kitten, which Festus insisted was a boy even though neither Matt nor Kitty could see any evidence of that, had already figured out how to drink milk right from the bowl, and was sniffing eagerly at the last little bit in the bottom of the bowl, which was too far away for him to reach. 

“Looks like you could use another drink, mister,” Kitty said, and turned for the kitchen to see if she had any milk left. 

“Wait, Kitty! Watch what he’s doing!” Matt exclaimed. The three watched in amazement as the kitten, on shaky legs, placed his front paws on the edge of the bowl and attempted to pull his hind legs up after him. After several attempts, he succeeded in standing on the edge for a few seconds before losing his balance and tumbling face first into the bowl. He stood up, sneezed a couple of times and then proceeded to lap up the rest of the milk from the bottom of the bowl.

“I think he’s gonna live, Doc!” Kitty said thankfully.

“Hey, where is that ole scudder, anyway?” wondered Festus. “I mighta knowed he’d take hisself off somewhere where he could get outta doin’ any real doctorin’!”

“Well, Mama, don’t you think it’s time you decided on a name for your baby?” Matt asked Kitty. Kitty looked at Matt speechlessly for a few moments and then burst into tears. Now Matt was speechless.

“Oh, Festus, I’m so sorry, I forgot to thank you for taking care of the kittens for me last night. I know this one wouldn’t have made it otherwise!” Kitty hugged Festus and impulsively gave him a kiss on the cheek, causing Matt to raise his eyebrows.   
“Oh, fiddle, Miss Kitty, it weren’t nothing, that’s just somethin’ friends do fer each other! I didn’t do nothing any different than you were doin’, dontcha see? You was just too worn out to keep doin’ it no more! There, let go a me now, yore gonna have Matthew think I’m tryin’ to steal his girl!” Kitty released Festus. A vigorous debate then ensued over what to name the kitten. Kitty insisted on naming him after Festus, which Festus strongly disagreed with “on account of it would be too confusin’.” Matt thought “Trouble” sounded like a good name for him, although he took it back when Kitty appeared to be ready to burst into tears again. In the end, it was Festus who gave him his name.

“He looks like a little bitty piece of pumkin pie with a big ole scoop of whipped cream on top!” Festus declared. And everyone agreed--well, Kitty and Festus agreed and Matt kept his thoughts to himself, hoping for a better night than the night before. Pumpkin Pie it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: No actual kittens were harmed during the writing of this chapter. I am not a vet and have no idea as to how accurate my handling of the "kitten death scene" or the miraculous recovery of the fourth kitten actually was. I will not be revealing what happened to the mama cat unless Kitty asks me, so please don't ask.


	3. Buryin'

Matt steered the buggy on the road to their private fishing spot, Kitty sitting next to him holding a small box on her lap. Matt tried to figure out how he could have possibly gotten himself roped into this. Of course, he would never deny Kitty anything, but he felt mighty silly participating in a kitten funeral. He was just thankful he’d been able to talk her out of asking the preacher to officiate, telling her the man was much too busy to bother with a private family funeral. The truth was, the man was a pompous windbag who didn’t have the time of day for Kitty Russell except for when it came time to ask for a donation, in spite of the fact that she worked just as hard as any of the “respectable” town ladies at their ladies’ aid dinners and whatnot, and donated as much money as their “respectable” husbands, and he’d take off his badge before he let that man anywhere near her in the state she was in over those kittens. When he found out the second part of her plan, which was to ask him to baptize the surviving kitten, he knew he needed to put a stop to that or the man would laugh her out of his office and then notify the State Asylum to come pick her up, and if that happened, Matt would have to punch the salvation out of him, even though he was having some doubts about her sanity himself. He’d managed to convince her that as a law enforcement official, he was authorized to perform funerals, and that the Lord allowed anyone, not just preachers, to perform baptisms, and he guessed he was probably going to end up doing that, too, and he would, if it would put a smile back on her face.

Matt looked down at Kitty. “Almost there,” he said, putting his arm around her shoulder. She looked up at him and leaned against his chest, keeping one hand protectively over the top of the box. She sighed, knowing that Matt thought she’d taken leave of her senses when he walked into her room to find her lining a heart-shaped candy box with two of her best handkerchiefs, declaring that the kittens were going to receive a proper burial even if she had to do it herself. The truth was, her heart and mind were miles away from those kittens. Thinking of four other tiny babies who were never to be, she choked back a sob. Matt cradled her head in his large hand, brushing his lips against her forehead. “Everything is going to be all right, Kitty.” She nodded, knowing he had no idea what was going through her mind. Doc had known, even before she did. When she took Pumpkin Pie over to Doc to see if he would take care of him during the funeral (showing signs of her usual spirit when she wordlessly dared Matt to try to tell her that the kitten would most likely survive without the skills of an M.D. for the couple of hours they would be gone) and had finished her sad tale (already related to him by Festus in his own colorful way), Doc took off his glasses, shook his head and brushed his mustache with one hand. 

“Of course I’ll keep the little fella for awhile, Kitty, and I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me.” Kitty’s eyes began to fill up again. “But you and Festus did everything right. Sometimes babies that little just can’t survive without their mama.” Kitty gasped and covered her face with her hands. “Oh, my God, Kitty, that was a cruel thing for me to say. Can you ever forgive me?”

Kitty patted her old friend on the shoulder. “It’s all right, Doc. It’s not the same thing.”

“Maybe not. But it was still thoughtless of me to say it, and I’m sorry. Sweetheart, don’t you think this would be a good time to tell Matt? At least about the last one?” Kitty shook her head, unable to say anything for fear of once again bursting into tears. Doc was her oldest friend in more ways than one, and knew more about her life before Dodge than, God willing, Matt ever would. The first three babies, a result of her former profession, were gone long before she ever got to Dodge City, intending to just pass through on her way to--she couldn’t even remember any more where she had intended to go. Doc knew just how hard she had worked to keep from thinking of the babies her previous life wouldn’t allow her to have. The last one had been the most heartbreaking; after she had reserved herself only for Matt, and she had wanted that baby the most of all. 

Kitty took a deep breath. “I can’t, Doc. I can’t do that to him. I can’t hurt him like that.” In spite of Matt’s assertion that a family had no place in his life, she believed that he would have done the right thing by her and the baby and come to accept and even want it as much as she had. There was no need to trouble him with what might have been.

“Don’t you think he’d want to know, Kitty?” Doc asked kindly. 

“I don’t know, Doc, I don’t know.”

***

 

Festus was waiting for them next to the old tree, a tiny grave freshly prepared. He took off his hat as Matt helped Kitty down from the buggy, Kitty still carefully clutching the candy box. “Miss Kitty, Matthew,” he said by way of greeting. “Are you ready to get started?” 

“Why don’t we give her a few minutes, Festus.” Kitty walked alone toward the water, collecting wildflowers as she went. Matt hung back to give her her privacy, but close enough to offer any assistance she might need. She seemed to be trying to gather her courage to let go of the kittens. Matt couldn’t recall ever seeing a grown woman this upset over a few kittens, although, admittedly, Matt had little other experience with grown women, and certainly not with any other woman like this one.

Kitty turned and walked back toward Matt, smiling bravely. “I’m ready,” she said, placing her hand on his waiting arm. They joined Festus at the gravesite. Kitty turned to Matt, finally offering the heart-shaped box. Please don’t let me down, Cowboy, she implored him silently. Wouldn’t dream of it, ma’am, he seemed to say as he accepted the box from her. Kneeling at the grave, he gently placed the kittens in their final resting place. Standing up, he removed his hat and cleared his throat several times before speaking, suddenly realizing he had no type of speech prepared for the occasion.

“We are gathered together,” he began, “to lay to rest these three precious little ...um...kittens,” he finished, feeling more foolish by the second. Kitty shot him a look that said she was fighting between sadness for the kittens and amusement at his embarrassment. But thankfully, disappointment was nowhere to be seen on her face. With relief, he continued, figuring he couldn’t possibly do any worse than he just had. “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. I am the resurrection and the life, whosoever shall believe in me…” Matt realized he had reached the limit of his ministerial knowledge, at least in this setting. “And so on, and so forth, Amen.” Matt looked at Kitty, whose face was now devoid of expression. Matt nodded at Festus, who began to sing “Amazing Grace” without a trace of his usual hillbilly manner.

“I thought you said you’d done this before,” Kitty said softly, trying not to interrupt Festus.

“I didn’t say I was any good at it.” Neither could look at the other, for fear of losing control and offending Festus during his beautiful rendition. 

Festus finished singing and Kitty approached the grave, letting her flowers fall one by one onto the little box. Finally, she nodded at Festus and turned, fully intending to wait until the burial was complete before returning to the buggy to leave. Festus began to fill the grave as gently and quietly as he could, but even that small sound was too much for Kitty to bear. She collapsed to the ground in a heap of exhausted sobs, Matt immediately gathering her into his arms as she clung to him. 

“I’ll just go tend to some business and come back and finish this later, Matthew,” Festus said softly as he crept away, doubting if either one of them even heard him. 

“I’m sorry, Matt, I’m so sorry,” Kitty cried brokenly, and Matt wasn’t sure if she was sorry for crying, or for the real reason she was crying. Something in the depths of her sorrow finally gave Matt an understanding of the real reason why these kittens meant so much to her, because he remembered.

It was a couple of years after Kitty came to Dodge, and they had been keeping company for quite some time, and sharing a bed whenever they could. Matt was no expert, but he knew there were certain changes that happened to women when they were expecting, and Kitty seemed to be experiencing some of them. No announcement was forthcoming, however, and Matt wasn’t sure if it was because she wasn’t yet aware of the changes, or if she just wasn’t ready to tell him. One night, while he was preparing for a week-long trip to transport some prisoners, she seemed to be on the verge of trying to tell him something, but when she didn’t, Matt decided he would take the bull by the horns and say something when he came back. Unfortunately, he returned to find that Kitty had spent the last two days in her room crying and wouldn’t tell anyone why, letting no one in but Doc, who spouted some sort of nonsense about doctor patient confidentiality, whatever the hell that meant, when he tried to get some answers out of him. Kitty refused to tell him anything other than that she wasn’t feeling well and she had just wanted him to come home so much that she couldn’t stop crying. It wasn’t too hard to figure out what had happened, and Matt could think of no reason to make her feel even worse by asking her if there had been a baby. He held her all that night, telling her over and over how sorry he was that he hadn’t been there when she got sick, while she had cried the same way she was crying now. The next morning, Kitty was back to being herself, and Matt knew that this was the woman he would spend the rest of his life protecting and making happy. And tomorrow, he would baptize every cat in Ford County if it would keep her from crying like this ever again. 

 

***

After the buggy finally left, Festus returned carrying a large shoebox. Setting it down, he picked up the shovel and enlarged the still-uncovered kitten burial plot. Placing the shoebox next to the heart-shaped candy box, he carefully covered the boxes and placed a homemade wooden cross at the head of the grave.

“Don’t you worry yourself none, mama cat,” said Festus softly, holding his hat in his hands. “She’s gonna take real good care of yore baby.”


	4. Baptizin'

Kitty knew she was being completely irrational about having the kitten baptized, but she didn’t care. No, that wasn’t it, really. She finally realized, now that the funeral was over and she’d had a good cry to get it all out of her system, and a good night’s sleep (somewhat shortened by her efforts to make up to Matt for everything she had put him through that day), that baptizing a kitten, or any other animal for that matter, was a pretty stupid thing to do. But was she about to admit that to Matt, or anyone else? Of course not, she was much too stubborn for that. No, she had put both feet into it good, and she couldn’t see any other way to get out of this with her dignity intact other than to just let it play out. Right now, that meant getting ready for the baptism. Matt was probably already downstairs wondering what was keeping her. No...he probably wasn’t wondering, he’d know, but it still wasn’t fair to keep him waiting. She was already wearing the new dress she would have been wearing for Matt’s homecoming the other day if...if...Stop it! she told her reflection, and put the finishing touches on her makeup and hair, just the way Matt liked it.

Matt was waiting downstairs, as impatiently as if he hadn’t just left her room two hours ago. He raised an eyebrow as she made her way down the stairs. “Another new dress?” 

“Just for you, Cowboy.” She took his arm and they left for Doc’s, where he, Festus, and Pumpkin Pie, the man, er, kitten of the hour were waiting.

***

 

Doc and Festus, both asked to be the kitten’s godfathers by Matt, thinking it would please Kitty, stood in Doc’s outer room with Matt, watching Kitty cuddle and coo over the kitten for an interminable length of time. Doc, seeing the look of pride on Matt’s face as he watched her, guessed that he would be happy to stand there watching her no matter how long she played with the kitten. She had not actually had much opportunity to get acquainted with Pumpkin Pie, what with funeral preparations and the funeral itself. Seeing how exhausted she was after the funeral, and surmising that she hadn’t handled things well, he’d offered to kept the kitten overnight, to give Kitty some much-needed rest and possibly some time alone with Matt. In fact, he planned to make the same offer for tonight, because, if the night before was any indication, their alone time was about to become a memory, at least for awhile. The kitten wanted plenty of attention, and if Doc knew Kitty, she’d be happy to give it. Doc hoped Matt’s patience would hold out. 

It was time to begin the ceremony. Kitty took one of her thimbles out of her bag and Doc filled it with water. As they gathered around Pumpkin Pie, Kitty marvelled that none of the men were so much as cracking a smile. She had expected some gentle teasing from her friends and her man, but, perhaps due to her conduct the last couple of days, they all wanted to be careful not to set her off.

Matt lifted the kitten in one hand and the thimble-full of water in the other and began, all thoughts of personal embarrassment gone from his mind. If Kitty wanted a baptism, that’s exactly what he was going to give her, and he was determined to do a better job than he had the day before with the funeral. He began. “Pumpkin Pie Russell, I baptize thee in the name of the Father (shaking a little water over his head) and of the Son, (shake) and of the Holy Ghost (shake). Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.” Wait, that wasn’t what he meant to say, at all. What God hath joined together--er, NO! Jesus wept? To make matters worse, the kitten chose that moment to loudly register his opinion of the proceedings, which was, apparently, that they shouldn’t continue. Kitty stood next to Matt, biting her tongue and the insides of her mouth to keep from laughing, because no one else was, and prayed for him to find his train of thought and finish as quickly as possible, so she could leave the room before she embarrassed herself in the worst way, or even worse, hurt Matt’s feelings, which he did not deserve after spending the last two days indulging her foolishness. Thankfully, Matt finally thought of something that wasn’t completely inappropriate. “For Thine is the Kingdom, and the Power, and the Glory forever, Amen.” 

“Excuse me,” Kitty choked, and escaped into Doc’s water closet, slamming the door behind her and covering her mouth in an effort to stifle her giggles. Matt handed the kitten to Festus and started to follow her. 

“Hold on, Matt.” Doc grabbed his arm. “How do you know she isn’t using that room for its intended purpose?” 

“Oh.” Matt stopped short, his face beginning to flush at the thought of the three of them thinking of Kitty in those terms. They all moved to the furthest corner of the room to keep from embarrassing her when she came back out.

When she finally exited the room, her face was slightly red but her eyes were dry and Matt was able to guess what she’d been doing in there. He was filled with relief and admiration that the sadness of the last couple of days hadn’t been able to destroy her laughter. He approached her with his hat in his hand. 

“Miss Russell, would you do me the honor of accompanying me to lunch?” He was pleased to see the smile return to her face.

“Why, I would be delighted, Marshal, “she replied, offering him her hand. He lifted it to his face and kissed her fingertips. Her face became serious again. “Can I have a word with you in private first?”

Doc grabbed Festus by the arm. “Can you come in the other room and help me with something for a minute?” 

Festus resisted. “Help you? Help you with what? Cain’t it wait until later? I’m gettin’ powerful hungry my ownself.”

“Wait? Well, no it can’t wait!” Doc barked at him. “I’ve got a window in there I can’t get shut, and it’s going to rain this afternoon!”

“Well, no it ain’t, Doc! The sun’s a shinin’ out there and it’s a plumb beautiful day! Purt near as beautiful as Miss Kitty over there!”

“Well, that is exactly what I’m talking about! Now just come on and...bring that kitten with you.”

“Well, alright, Doc, but he ain’t gon ter be able to do nothin’ to help…” Festus was saying as the door closed behind them.

“Kitty?” Matt looked at her questioningly.

“Matt, there’s something I need to tell you.” She swallowed hard. Matt took her in his arms. “I know, Kitty.” She looked up at him, feeling a bit cornered.

“You know? Well, what, exactly, is it that you...think...you know?” Oh, Lord, she was going to hurt him if she didn’t control that tongue of hers, but she wasn’t ready to play all her cards until she knew exactly what he was holding. 

Matt hesitated for a moment, touching her cheek. “I know we were burying more than kittens out there yesterday.” A single tear escaped from the corner of her eye. Coming from Matt, this statement was almost poetry. 

“How--when did you know?” she asked, bewildered. 

Suddenly, Matt felt so ashamed of himself he almost couldn’t speak. He held her tighter, hoping she would continue to allow it once he told her. “I--I was going to ask you about it when I got back from that trip. I could see that your body was different, and you were sick all the time. And you’re never sick. But it was too late, and I just couldn’t make you tell me. I couldn’t hurt you like that. But I’m so sorry I didn’t ask you before I left.” Sorry I never got to see the look on your face when you told me. We should have had one happy thing to remember about it.

He couldn’t even look at her. But she had to know before she could continue. “Is there anything...else...you think you know?” 

Matt looked at her, not understanding what she was asking him. “Kitty? Is there more?” Were there more, is what he wanted to ask her. He pictured her sitting on the storeroom floor, cradling the kittens in her lap. Had she been crying over four kittens yesterday, and on that long-ago day, not just one?

Kitty clutched his hands as tightly as she could, Looking into his eyes, she whispered “Yes, there’s more.” But please don’t ask me, she begged silently. Please don’t ask me to explain, I couldn’t bear to see the look in your eyes once you knew. Now it was her turn to look away. He would know anyway. He would figure it out, was probably figuring it out right now, because he could read her face when no one else could, just like she could read his. They had to, there were so many times when that’s all they had.

Matt had already been turning things over in his mind since his moment of understanding yesterday afternoon. The lost baby had been hard on them both, in spite of trying to protect each other from it. He wanted Kitty never to have to go through that again. And of course, there was his long standing policy about not having a wife and family to be left alone if anything happened to him. Had he really been that ignorant all those years, believing that he’d kept it from happening through sheer force of will? He and Kitty had never tried to have a baby, but they seldom did anything to try to keep it from happening, either. He knew there were things to do to try to keep babies from happening, and he supposed if he’d ever thought about it at all, he’d assumed that Kitty did some of those things. Sadly, he knew there were also things that could be done once a baby was on the way, and that a lot of women died trying to not have their babies. He guessed that some of the women who didn’t die that way, might have gotten hurt enough to not have any more babies. And he guessed the women who would do that didn’t have much choice. After yesterday afternoon, he was more convinced than ever that the Kitty he’d spent the last ten years with was not one of those women. He knew any other lost babies would have happened before he was a part of her life, and he had no right to question how they might have been lost. 

“Cowboy?” She searched his eyes for his answer. 

Matt bent down to kiss her. “It’ll keep,” he said softly. His eyes said more. It’s all right. You’re still my girl. 

I’ll tell you someday, if you want me to. I promise, her eyes answered. 

“No need.” He’d said it out loud. 

Kitty gave him a long look. “Well, Marshal, is that offer to escort me to lunch still open?”

“Well, it would be a shame to let that pretty new dress go to waste.”


End file.
